I was walking out from the gym where I had just enjoyed an hour long workout with some of my friends. I say goodbye to one of them and then walk to the city center with one of my friends, let’s call him Luke. It was only 5:30pm however the night had fallen and the city was coming alive as people walked around on their way home. Amidst this crowd I spotted two men who seemed to be in an altercation and I pointed it out to Luke and we watched the following unfold. A smaller guy, most likely a Uni student, was talking to a taller and same aged man and they seemed to be in a debate about something. It appeared that the tall man had stolen the other man’s phone and refused to give it back. The taller man seemed to get increasingly more agitated as the smaller man continued to ask for his phone back, the tall man repeated “Back the Fuck off” repeatedly. Eventually the smaller man reaches for his phone, the other man jolts backwards and the phone springs out of his hand and then an physical altercation ensues in which the taller man is punching and kneeing the other man who is trying to defend himself from this man. A woman, probably about 45 years old, shouts at them to stop to no avail. It is important to note that about 20 meters away from the altercation was a group of about 10 similar aged young men who were obviously with the taller man and seemed to take great pleasure in seeing this all unfold.
I didn’t do anything.
I walked past the scene with my friend without stepping in to help the poor man. I do not know how the altercation ended but I am aware that the police were called however the damage was already done.
I felt so bad for the man, inside of me there was a cauldron of bubbling lava which was heating up. In my mind I struggled to justify how as a human being I could not step in their.
My morals and values would tell me that no matter the risk I should have stepped in to hep the man, even if it meant I get hurt. In the moment I remember wanting to do something about it, when I saw it unfolding I thought about a scenario where I stepped in to help but with the presence of the gang nearby I couldn’t do it.
I regret this decision however I do not know if I would do anything different if the same situation came across me again. But then I cannot let someone get bullied by another person.
I thought about taking up fighting again, I did a few classes of Muay Thai once and stopped it after the free classes ended. I was going to become a vigilante and kill all people who inflict harm on innocent other human beings.
I was so angry at the outside world and for the other people around me for not doing anything to help this man.
Where was the police, why weren’t they there to stop this from happening? This is what I asked myself even though I knew that they cannot be everywhere at once.
The altercation took place in the middle of a very crowded area and only one lady said or did anything. I am no better. I did nothing. I was so scared of personal danger that I let someone else get punched and kneed in the face without saying a word.
I am a coward.
I do not want to live in fear for my whole life. I think that taking up fighting again can give me some confidence to defend myself against others if a situation like this arose again. I hate it when people get scared of bullies.
I should have done something but in my eyes at the time is was night time, I was essentially by myself (my friend could not have helped), there was this man’s gang watching nearby and if I did anything I am sure they would have come in to help his friend. I was scared. I want to have the confidence to stand up to bullies like this, learning Muay Thai or another striking martial arts can help me feel able to defend myself if I need to. If I learn how to fight I do not have to live in fear of these bullies anymore and can stand up for others who cannot stand up for themselves like this man who simply wanted his phone back.
Why did no one else help? This question has also been on my mind, and I know what you are thinking, “You didn’t help, who are you to talk?” and this is true. But I think that the question remains valid despite me being a part of it. There were people older than me there, bigger than me and yet no one with more confidence than one lady. Were people on their phones, did they even see what happend? Is fear so ingrained in these peoples minds, like my own, that their actions are dictated by what others have decided for them to do. In this case the bullies decided that they were not to react otherwise they would have to face the consequences.
I will learn to fight. I will be big. I will stand up for people. These are all my wishes from this experience. I know that this happens to people all around the world and I am saddened to know that I did not step in to help. I doubt many would.
Can we change this? What must happen in order for our culture to change from being shaped by fear and instead led by courage?
Knowledge, communal values, confident citizens, moral and ethical values, some strength. There were 10 of them however all of the bystanders probably amounted to twenty or thirty of us. What if as a community, as a society we got together and stood up against bullies? What if when we see something like this happening we all step in to help instead of all wait on the sidelines afraid to be the only one to help.
I say this yet I know that I can only change myself, and I promise I will. I would much rather die for my values than to live without any. I will speak up and help others who need it, I do not care what harm is inflicted upon me as long as I can relieve someone else’s suffering.
I will take up Muay Thai again in the future in order to be able to stand up for at least myself. Once I know that I can keep myself safe then I can worry about keeping others safe.
I urge you to consider educating yourself on how to defend yourself and others before it is too late. Better to be safe than sorry.
I hope you train into compassion. If this were a competition of violence, we would have claws like tigers and shells of turtles. We are all sons and daughters of great warriors, whose only wish was to end the war. The game is to love. The human body is mushy for a purpose.